


Solitude-thyme

by Featherine_Aurora



Category: Umineko no Naku Koro ni | When the Seagulls Cry
Genre: Puella Magi Madoka Magica References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-10 05:25:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6941686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Featherine_Aurora/pseuds/Featherine_Aurora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lambdadelta goes to a secret place, one created by her and for her alone, where she can keep some treasured possessions and contemplate certain things. There, she thinks about Bernkastel and herself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Solitude-thyme

This place was one that Lambdadelta did not visit often. Yet it was precious to her, in a way. It was a sanctuary that only she knew of. Even Bernkastel did not know of it. She thinks Bern has a place like this. She wonders what that place is, Bern's own sanctuary. Her own reflected her own tastes. For starters, it had a lot of pink in it's colour scheme. This place, which resembled a bedroom, also had a lot of girlish or childish decoration and toys. There were also some Halloween items around. She had a bit of an affection for things like that. There was a reason why she always had a pumpkin attached to her dress. There were also plush cushions to sit on. Here, she had both a place to keep many things that she valued and to spend some time thinking about things.

Lambedelta was a thousand year old witch, so perhaps it's design was unsuited for her. Though she really did not know her age. In fact, it seemed to her that witches just gave up after a point in regards to their age and just declared that they were a thousand years old. Bernkastel probably knew her actual age though. She always kept track of things like that. It really was not a healthy habit of hers. Lambdadelta knew it had greatly harmed Bern's mind. Her own mind admittedly wasn't in the best shape, but it was healthier than Bern's. She felt not keeping track of time had helped with that.

Yet it did come with it's own problems. In theory, she could be incredibly young for a witch nd it just felt like she'd been a witch for a thousand years. There really was no normal flow of time in the meta-world, so tracking time and it's passage in it was difficult. So, everything that had happened during her life as a witch could have, in theory, have happened in the span of a blink of an eye in the normal world. Perhaps one blink by her as she was still in her hell, hallucinating this, and another blink would have her return there.

Well, that was something she needed to stop thinking about. Time to bring something very special out. She'd been meaning to look at it.

So, Lambdadelta then got up and went to a set of draws, all the drawers with locks on them. Yet these locks had no holes in them for keys. Only Lambdadelta's magic could open them and, with a click of her fingers, she did that and one of the draws opened up.

_Bern would be furious if she knew I had some of the things connected to her that I do_ , Lambdadelta thought as she took an item out of the draw. _But I treasure everything about her. Even her past from before she became the Witch of Miracles is wondrous to me. Actually, it's something I'll always remember. After all, It's how we met._

She sighed, briefly lost in a world of recollections. Then Lambdadelta went to a neon pink plush cushion and dropped herself down. Then she took a look at what she was holding, relaxing on her cushion as she did.

 

* * *

 

  
It was a photo album and she went through it to look at a particular picture. In it was a group of people. All of them were smiling. First, there was a brown haired boy in a white shirt and black trousers. He was standing next to a girl with light brown hair, who was wearing a typical sailor fuka style school uniform. She seemed to be laughing at something the boy had said.  
  
There were also two identical looking girls with green hair, though each had it in a different style and wore rather different clothes to the other. Then there were two more girls, these rather younger than the others. One was a blonde girl in a sailor fuka uniform like one of the older girls. It had a different design to it though, having a different colour scheme and being a dress, as opposed to the skirt and top combination worn by the older girl.

She looked a lot like Lambdadelta. Queries regarding that similarity had been made to her. It was ridiculous. Two of the Stakes of Purgatory also had red eyes and blonde hair. By the reasoning used to connect her to this girl, Satoko, then Lambdadelta could also be connected to Asmodeus by some mysterious and deep connection. Or perhaps Beelzebub was Satoko, who'd somehow gotten onto Rokkenjima during the massacre and then given a magical form and was allied with Beatrice for mysterious reasons. Well, enough of thinking about that. Lambdadelta then looked at the remaining person in the picture.

The second was a blue haired girl wearing a white shirt and a black skirt, with her blue locks in a familiar hime cut. She looked a lot like Bernkastel. Yet she was so different from her. The smile on her face was lacking the malice that most of Bernkastel's smiles did. It was just an ordinary smile, rather unremarkable. Yet it had an earnestness and happiness that most people would never see on that witch's face.

Lambdadelta made a large cup of pop with ice and a straw appear in her right hand. Drinking tea was so tiresome. Most witches she knew seemed to be addicted to the stuff. So, it was rare that she could have anything but tea to drink, apart from when she was at whatever place she'd made her home for the time being or here. Bern didn't care about what Lambdadelta drank, so that made things easier. Admittedly, neither of them actually liked what the other drank

She then stuck the straw in her mouth and started slurping it in as she looked at the girl's face. She saw that happy face, or a more reserved version of it, on Bernkastel's face sometimes. Well, she thought so. Her beloved Bern didn't really express her feelings. So, in theory, it was possible that she imagined it. It was possible that her strong feelings for Bern made her see something that wasn't there. But Lambda couldn't accept that. She knew Bernkastel loved her. So, she could not doubt that she had really seen the kind of happy face that the blue haired girl made in this photo on Bern's face, in only so briefly that it's very existence could be doubted. Yet it did exist.

It was like what Beatrice and those around her were fond of saying. Without love, it couldn't be seen. Lambdadelta with her love could see the part of Bern that loved her and cared for her. She saw the bit of Bern that was still like that girl who'd resolutely struggled against a horrible fate for the sake of those she cared about, even if it was buried so deeply and though Bern hated everything so much that only Lambdadelta would ever be able to draw it out.

_It's been a while, Rika Furude, since the game that ended with your happy ordinary life_ , Lambdadelta thought. I _wonder how happy you are, enjoying that miracle Bern made_.

That blue haired girl in the photo, Rika Furude, was Bernkastel, or who'd she'd been as a human. It was complicated. A lot of things in regards to Witches were. Understanding their complexities could cause headaches.

Bernkastel is her own being, yet she has the memories of that girl, of being that girl and living as that girl. She spent a long time as that girl, effectively an eternity, struggling against a horrific fate. Even if Bernkastel is not that girl, that sort of thing is really something a person would find hard to let go of. She was formed from all the dead versions of her former human identity, Rika Furude, that had their lives ended in her hall and had all the memories from the eternity she spent in it. While Lambdadelta had plenty of horrible memories, she knew there was plenty she had likely forgotten or which had gotten mixed into a blur. What she had left was still incredibly horrible, it could be worse. Just the idea of how her nightmare of still being trapped in that logic error, being incapable of ever escaping no matter what she did could somehow be worse, more vivid, more hopeless, more lonely… how she'd be really trapped forever, for certain, with no way to escape. She was _certainly_ trapped forever and ever and ever...

No, she wasn't trapped there. She'd really escaped and she really was here, sitting on a comfy cushion while drinking pop through a straw, in the sanctuary of the great witch of certainty.

Yeah, it really was a good thing that she'd lost track of a lot of things while in her hell.

Yet Bern tends not to let go of things. For example, things like the amount of time passed in her hell and her memories of what had happened were something she clung on to tenaciously while fighting in it. _At the time, I think one possible reason she might have held on to them to motivate herself. Memories of what everyone was suffering would drive her to keeping trying to end the nightmare. But perhaps it was something she just couldn't help doing. Given how she tries so hard to not recall anything from the time she spent in hell, I'd say I took the right approach. It just made escaping the memories a lot harder for her_. Not that she'd ever say that to Bernkastel. _She'd take it as an insult_ Lambda thought. _She's very prideful. Justifiably so, I think. But she did suffer a lot as Rika Furude, fighting a horrific fate. I wish she could have enjoyed the miracle she created_.

But Berkastel is a witch. Her miracle is something that could only be enjoyed by her as a human. Bernkastel as a witch can't enjoy it. For her, the miracle might as well not exist. For her, things like miracles don't exist.

_But it really was something wonderful_ , Lambadelta thought. _I'll always respect what she did in creating her miracle, even if Bern regards it as a non-achievement. She only use the title of Witch of Miracles for getting her own way or looking down upon others, especially those who want a miracle._

Bernkastel was already a bit broken mentally when she got out of her prison. It had been a horrific hell. Even Lamdadelta, whose hell was something she always sought to avoid remembering, could say that. To suffer in so many ways, to die in so many way and to be both hurt by her friends and watch them be hurt in so many ways was something that would break a lot of people.

The addition of having her miracle effectively be an illusion, something she could only look at and yet never touch, was a horrible blow. Of course, her former master returned soon after Bernkastel became a witch. She'd finally became interesting again. Rika Furude had become boring and so Auaurora left. Then Bernkastel had escaped her hell, becoming the witch of miracles, thus again becoming something that could be interesting to that monster. That's all that mattered to her. Bernkastel could offer her some entertainment and Bern could hardly refuse. No one can refuse Auaurora. So, Bern was tasked with finding tales that could entertain her and then rip the tales apart.

Being a witch seemed to create a desire to be cruel in a person. The kind of power a witch had combined with the kind of life a witch usually lived as a human to reach it invariably twisted a person. Lambdadelta knew her time in her hell had twisted her. It was undeniable. But at least she'd been able to control her own life once out of that hell. But Auaurora always liked to reappear every now and then to have Bernkastel do some work for her.

That was something that happened in Beatrice's game. Auaurora made her the game master and asked her to rip out the guts of Beato's game. Of course, that would happen if she ever appeared in the same story as Bern. The only reason Auaurora would ever have Bern around is if she could gain some more entertainment from her.

_Not that it's much of an excuse for Bern, I'll admit. She enjoyed it and so did I. But Auaurora taught her to indulge in that sort of thing in a way beyond even fellow witches like myself, to rip tales apart and savour the miserable ends and tragedies of others as a way to stave off boredom_. But it was fun and so was her competition with Battler. It hadn't ended in a way Bern would have liked though. She didn't like happy endings. But she'd gotten over it pretty quickly. It was impressive. Lambadelta was a bit proud of her. She was changing in her own way, recovering slowly from what Auaurora did to her.

To kill that bitch Auaurora would be wonderful. But that had turned out badly when she actually had tried to just to hit Auaurora once. Lambdadelta knew there was nothing she could do about her. Of course, she'd take any opportunity she had to kill Auaurora that looked like it had a good chance of success. But that monster would be really hard to kill, if it was even possible at all. So, all she could do for certain was stay by Bern, as she always did.

She then looked at few more pictures in the photo album before putting it away. She then pulled out a diary. It was one of a number she had stored here. This was the newest one, the one she was writing in. It was a habit she'd acquired after being a witch for some time. She'd pour her own personal thoughts and feelings into these diaries. Not that she was much of a writer. As a human, she'd had no interest in it. Her level of interest had not increased much upon becoming a witch. She preferred to enjoy the endless tales floating in the sea of fragments. But it was relieving to do this diary writing, in a way.

Lamdadelta spent the rest of her time in this place writing. Then after a while, she decided that she'd spent enough time here. Lambdadelta had to go, before Bernkastel started to wonder where she was.

 

* * *

 

  
“So, where are we going this time?”

Bernkastel grinned in response to that question from Lambdadelta. “We are going to go to a world where teenage girls are convinced to become magical girls by members of a race of aliens called incubators. In exchange they are granted wishes by the aliens, though the aliens never inform the girls how their wishes could turn out and even encourage them to make wishes without thinking. They are then expected to hunt creatures called witches until they either die or they are consumed by despair and turn into witches themselves. It sounds wonderful, don't you think?”

“It does. But, remember, I'll be the villian this time. I won that right”.

Bernkastel frowned. She'd hoped that Lambda had forgotten that. But she and Lambda had played a board game to decide who would get to be the villain for their next game. Lambdadelta had won, with her _certain_ determination. Well, that's what Lambda said. Bern knew she'd gained her victory by playing dirty. Admittedly, Bernkastel had been cheating and she suspected Lambda knew she had. But that wouldn't stop her from trying to switch their roles while she still had time to do so.

“Well, that means I'll be supporting the heroine. She's a magical girl who wished for the power to return to a point in the past so she can save her best friend from a horrible death. She has done this a number of times already and can do it an infinite number of times if needed. In fact, she probably will, if her resolve holds up”.

“That sounds familiar”

Of course Lambda would say something like that. Bernkastel just looked at her with her usual emotionless expression. “Does it? I can't recall anything like that. Anyway, your role is supporting the villian, the alien Kyubey, as he tries to ensnare the heroine's true love. It's quite a suitable role for you”. That last line was delivered with Bern wearing a smirk on her face as she said it.

“Yeah, I'd be great at… wait, what are you trying to imply about me?!”. Lambda's face was an incredible shade of red and she was glaring at Bernkastel, looking very angry. “What about me says creepy girlfriend stealing alien? Just for that, I'll definitely show no mercy. I'll crush you and then subject you to a really horrifying punishment”.

Bernkastel's smirk stayed on her face. “A horrifyingly perverted one, I'd imagine. Almost all the punishments you think of for me are”. Lambdadelta had a major obstacle in regards to coming up with an effective retort to that. Bernkastel's comment was true, Lambdadelta knew it and she'd also never made an effort to hide how she selected wierdly perverted punishments for Bernkastel, so lot's of people knew it. Many of those people were still trying to scrub the unwanted mental images out of their heads to this day.

So, Lambdadelta just gave up. “Yeah, probably. But I know you enjoy them”. Before Bernkastel could respond to that, Lambda asked a question. “So, where's Erika?”

That was an interesting question. Where was that kitten of hers? She'd ordered to do something, but what? After a moment, Bernkastel remembered. “Oh, I ordered her to see how much of the number pie she could memorise and that she should also try to memorise as much of it as possible before reporting to me”.

“Bern, pie is an infinite number and you know Erika is both stubborn and desires your approval”. Lambda was frowning. “You did make sure she won't accidently starve herself or something when trying that, I hope? I am not going to clean her up if we get back and find her corpse”.

“Don't worry, Dlanor visits her often. Plus, I might use her in this next game at some point. So, I'll check up on her from time to time. It would be quicker and easier for me if she's still alive at any point I might wish to call on her”.

Lambda seemed satisfied with that. “Well, you'll need my approval if you decide to use her. She is an overpowered piece”.

“I'll get it. You know I will, if I need it”.

“Yeah, I know. But I'll certainly beat you before you get the chance”.

Bernkastel chuckled at that. Lambda was always self-assured, or at least good at pretending to be. A person like her who could be so amusing in her antic and so determined in regards to what she cared about was a real delight. She really was the best cure for the poisonous boredom that afflicted her. Plus, it was possible Lambda had allowed herself to be diverted from her uncomfortable comparison of her with the heroine of their next story on purpose. It was the kind of thing Lambda did for the sake of keeping her happy, like losing on purpose at a game to ensure Bernkastel would not get annoyed.

Perhaps, in the worst case scenario, she could try to convince Lambda into another game for the role of villian and then get her to lose that one on purpose. Yet, it wasn't nice to exploit that part of Lamda's nature, but Bernkastel really like the role of villian. It was just more fun. Or perhaps she'd stay in the role of supporting the heroine in this upcoming game. It would stop Lambda from complaing about how she always takes the role of villian in their games, at least for a while. Yes, that was it. It was definitely not because Lambda would enjoy being the villian. She'd never give up the role for something like that.

“Well, I'll go now and you can follow. Let's see who gets there first. Perhaps I won't have put myself in charge and taken the villian position for myself by the time you arrive. I'll see you soon”.

“I love you Bern. See you later”.

Lambdadelta always said things like that. If she didn't know Lambda well, it would be worrying how she makes declarations of love to her so often and in such a light manner. It seemed to devalue the sentiment. Bernkastel found it very hard herself. It felt unpleasent to expose that part of her that could say things like that. But still…

“I love you too, Lambda”.

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Notes: This fanfic is based off personal ideas in regards to characters. Others might have different ideas. That is fine. I hope that you will respect my right to form these ideas. More importantly, I also hope that what I have produced will be good enough to be an enjoyable read to you, regardless of whether you agree or disagree with my ideas.
> 
> Also, I am actually thinking of writing a full sized crossover fic of Umineko and Madoka Magica at some point. If I do, I might have this be connected to it, with the end bit of this leading to the crossover.


End file.
